Saturday as usual, sucked up with NDP preparation. The day is drawing near and i can't wait for it to end! Endless torture burning half my weekends.
Well, i still get monday off, and i'm still complaining...

When it comes to duties, swapping a weekend duty (Saturday or Sunday) is equal to 2x weekdays! Think about it, if we NSF have to work on a weekend which is so precious to us, shouldn't it be just like the swapping of duties for 2 weekdays?

Sunday i forgot what i did... Monday too... I do know there's been a pain in my chest... don't know if it's internal that it's the cause of a pain in the heart or the lungs... Whatever it is, i haven't got it checked up yet. Maybe I'm dying! Wait, i can't be paranoid. And worse still, abandon those who cares for me... Who cares for me, seriously? I've been really cold-blooded lately... Skin isn't cold, probably it's the heart... Perhaps, that's why it's hurting.
Been really sucking in alot of mockery, condemnation that will only me lose more self-esteem... Becoming low self-esteem.
I do realise the hurt and agonising despair when one is being mocked at when they barely know you.
"A nerd trying to be cool..." - When her friend said this about me, i couldn't help but my mind was twirling. Thoughts like, "Fuck, do you fucking know me?" Wanting to unleash my rage... And it is kinda ruin me when I am who i am and not trying to be anyone.

I don't really care about the nerdy part... But it's how her friend used the word, "trying" when i don't even bother about thinking that way...

This is totally uncalled for... Probably absurd...

I'm very sensitive in this area... Words just like poison, like it or not, it can crumble you down. I believe I've been through the stages of low-self esteem when it's just me, myself and i and no one else. But i don't wish to go back there because of the words others hurl at me. And being the one to condemn someone doesn't make you a better person either.

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Anyway, i remembered that i met up with Fadhli aka Fatherly! We met at Orchard and walked all the way to Bugis just to get his sweater... While i finally got my new headphones. Audio-tech from HMV for $49.95. Had kebab for dinner and thankfully, it wasn't just me and him otherwise we would be mistaken for a couple easily. :D The was another strong presence within us that lighten the mood. :):) :)