Saturday

Yesterday, i went down for alter call. I made a promise that i will and I'm glad, i kept my word. God gave me this chance, and knowing that I'm weak at times, i shall not fall. Why did I go down? Why did i even bother to take a step of courage and faith to walk down with Vincent guiding me? Cos i know that with God, everything i've been through are the temporary, and I've failed to respond well to God. I felt terrible for all that I have done, hurting the many people around me.
I felt relived after ALTER CALL and my heart of emptiness just left...

Pastor Kong sermon came just at the right moment.
He taught us about servanthood. That no matter how demeaning or what others say when we serve, we know we're doing it for God and His people. For what the worldly people see is not what God sees.
As a personal assistant to a Leftanant Colonel in camp, I realised the importance of serving and not being half-hearted. For hardwork pays off well and God will see the goodness in me. If Jesus can serve his disciples and non-believers, why can't we?
Beware of pride and egos come your way when we serve others. We serve our enemies to win them over. For God is love. And with God in us, we shall make ourselves as an ambassador for His kingdom in Heaven.

EXCELLENCE IS THE ATTENTION GIVEN TO DETAILS THAT LEADS TO SUPERIOR PERFORMANCE.

After service, we went to Ban Mian coffeeshop for dinner. It's been awhile since i last fellowship with their members and i felt something was amissed. At times, you can't blame others for being uncomfortable in the cg. We have to look within us as the problem may just be in us, just that we don't even know it.

Nicole spoke to me for close to an hour. I understand how much she really cares for each and every single of her own disciples. I'm like a wandering soul, not knowing my direction. Nicole did her best to put me in place and spoke to me about the difficulties i've been going through.

As a member of N402, it's visible that this cellgroup is new. Members come and go, and I've become one of them. But i made my stand yesterday when i prayed that God will guide me through to help this cg grow. For God, for Nicole and for the members. We all long for a quick revival. On the other hand, being the same age as Nicole physically, there are times i came to a stand that there is no way i can account to her. Pride have gotten into me. But to be honest, in the realm of God's people, i'm weaker spiritually.
I'm sorry Nicole if i gave you the cold shoulder for the past few times when you took over the cg. Lacking patience, i should have understand that you're a new leader and everything in life that we're new to, we take time to adapt. Hoping that members will guide you through. I'm sorry that I wasn't one of them. I'm sorry i did not live up to be a faitful member.
But no, I never thought of transferring out. It never came to my mind. I should be blessed to have you as a cgl. Through my ups and down, you came to guide me along. Stood by my side when i was broken hearted, helped me when i couldn't save money and got myself into trouble. Therefore, like how we should remember God for the goodness He blessed us, we should feel the same way to our own leaders. And I hope you're reading this. There was definitely alot of misunderstanding between us. But i'm glad those were clarified. Yes, i'm willing to take this time to adapt to it with you being my leader. And God knows that i can.

I'm currently on duty now... Sigh... Highlight of the day?

ELIZ IS COMING HOME!