Last night... Everyday has been a routine to call her... And what have we spoken all the time? It always clashes and the atmosphere were never good for the past weeks or so... I was so concentrated on the relationship issue. And i guess like she said, we probably take things too far.
But yesterday, it was a conversation about God and most likely i shared a sermon with her about character building. I found this, sermon in my notebook, dated 27th April 2007.

I'm glad that we had a good conversation. And it was by far, better than before... I couldn't hide my feelings when she will be away for 5 days till 9th March. I'll miss talking to her, and i'll miss her presence. Especially in this period when we're gonna rebuild our friendship. And whatever happened last night, i felt i needed a friend like her....

I came home yesterday, knowing that there's gonna be a horrible feeling. I just could forsee what will happen when Aunty Helen and my dad quarrel. And i wish it didn't happened, but it did.
Aunty Helen was mumbling vulgarities at my dad who wasn't at home at the point of that time. She was preparing to meet my dad at Masonic Club. And it was perhaps that my dad rushed her to quicken things and knowing this, Aunty Helen hates to be rushed...

I spoke to eliz for an 1 hour and a half or so after Aunty Helen left. And went to bed after that. 1:27am. Woken up by shouts. There they were, quarreling. And it was never a pleasant one. Aunty Helen through things around and my dad couldn't do much only but to shout at her telling her to stop. I couldn't care. But soon she started to vent her anger on me and woke me up. Trying to chase me out of the house. "What did i do?" My mind was thinking how unfair it is that i have to be drag into this. Ok, maybe he's my dad and she expects me to tag with him. The living room was in a mess. Table upside down, chairs messed up, shoes lying around. Aunty Helen was really bonkers and i demand that she go for anger management course.

Truth be told, i was afraid. The atmosphere... And my dad reminded me something when he said that he wants to die for her to see and Aunty Helen didn't care. It was actually my dad's 60th birthday. And i feel sorry that it ended like that. Aunty Helen went too far. I can see a thin wound on my right arm. Her temper flares and I just feel helpless...

I don't want to go back there. Is it even my home? No.

Sigh, SOS they called it. I need that i guess. Tomorrow, Eliz is leaving for malaysia for some programme organised by her school... And i really hope she'll come home safe.

Eliz, be home safe ok? I'll be waiting for your return. Meanwhile, i have to handle the piece of shit at home. Maybe i won't go home for the next few days... I don't know. But don't worry about me ok? I'll be missing you for sure. And that's evident. :(