Life hasn't been great.
So what if i have a chance and opportunity at Shatec...

I'm on a 3-weeks 'not-speaking-to-Eliz' term... It sucks even further more to realise that she threw away the stuff i gave her.
It's not the greatest feeling at all... It hurts like shit... And it hurts more when you realise that she did that to hurt me deliberately.

"Eliz, maybe we can just forget about the 3 weeks thingy... Cos in less than 24 hours, you've done something to simply hurt me... Tell me is that fair? Just because life isn't unfair, you don't go around making other people life miserable."

As much as she denies, she doesn't realise that whatever she is doing, selfishly, it's hurting me. There's a reason why i gave her those things. And i know, when i gave them, it was right from the bottom of my heart. Yet, she doesn't sees it.

I'm troubled and i don't think she knows what's like at home now for me. As long as she gets what she wants, she's happy.
As long as she succeeded in gaining sympathy, she's happy.
me out.
That's life huh? How unfair.

Whatever me and her did, it was over. Yes i was wrong, I admit it. But i wonder if she told Pastor that at times, she initiated the move which somehow, you know, i get tempted. It's not avoidable. I know at times, i tried not to let temptation get in my way... But it seems that Eliz can be really initiative... (don't deny Eliz)
This was probably what people do not know.
Is she sorry for all that have happened as well? I don't think so.

Why does it always has to be this way? That when i'm set and all ready to give myself a chance, i get screwed up. Is it too much of a coincidence? I don't think so.. It's not that my thinking is that she's out there to hurt me... But doesn't it seem so? If she's not, she would have at least spare a thought for me. FOR ONCE. And not everything that goes by her way and her decisions.

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Now, i'm living on the streets. Home isn't always the best place, or one to call, 'a home'. It's like a warzone where you get stabbed in the back and it leaves you a broken heart.
And yet, i have this other problem that's too much of a burden for me.

Yes, i feel like giving up still... And despite the many concerns, i don't think it matters cos the one person refuses to understand my situation, but chose to think by self-centered mindset of hers. She explains things with no mercy on me... Yeah, she's 16... Everyone would believe a 16 year old like her...

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After typing all these... I'm tired of living...
Yes eliz, I'm still going....