Early morning, i woke up feeling an ache in my heart... It was painful as my mind reminded about what's going on between me and Eliz... And the person who tagged at her blog.

"don't go soft just because you read some emotionless words. they are easiest to be misread. "

I plunged further into depression when i recalled it as it could just make her doubt me more. Who is this person? He/she must have been reading my blog and hers back to back or perhaps, we know this person...

But how can i convey the message to her that it's not 'emotionless words'.

I was really thinking hard about death. And message the people who has been there for me that i could just end my life right away.



Audrey's reply:

Hey what happened? Aiyoh that's not the point. It's not about her right now. It's about you. Failing to make her happy it's not your job Robin. Yes I know you want to cause you feel something for her. But when you fail to do somethingh, you just keep trying right? And moreover you just need to stay by her side. She never said that she wanted you to make her happy. All she wants is a friend by her side. Even though things may not turn out the way you want it to be, you must learn that things cannot always come out your way.

Did you even realize what you were saying? The happy guy? Being happy doesn't depend on situations. You can be happy despite your situation. You can choose. It doesn't mean that when you fail to do something, your joy is gone. You need to open up your eyes Robin. Your world doesn't revolve around Eliz alone. I know, yes you did many things for her and sacrificed your time, effort and money. You may not see it but through your actions, her heart may be more open.

Maybe not to the extent where it is a boy girl relationship. It may just be a plain friendship. Right now you may think you lost her. But Robin, you're just one-sided on your part. You cannot expect her to accept you even though you did many things for her. She may only exept it to the extent as a friend.

Do you know you keep falling into the same cycle again? You must really look Robin. Sometimes when things don't turn out your way, don't blame yourself and don't blame God. Because He knows what's best for you. You may not get what you want now because He knows that its not the best for your life. If this problem keeps continuing, i think you should move on. Just concentrate on seeing Eliz as a friend now. I know it may be hard to give up everything.

That you invested in. Bt you took the risk to go after her. Although it backfired, it's not the end. You can still move on and be that happy guy you mentioned. I know you are much stronger than this. And I know your suffered your fair share of hard knocks. This is just another mountain yuou have to overcome. Although it may be the biggest mountain you have came across and you are on the verge of giving up. Realize that if you give up now, you'll be forever facing this mountain and never going forward to what God has for your life. I am very sure this is not his best for you.

Robin have you realised what you just said? If i felt that I am going to waste my time on you, I wouldn't have bothered to send all the messages to you. You are fit for me to waste my time on. I don't even mind wasting my sms money and effort on you cause i know you are someone who is a champion. Wh can overcome all things. Robin you are much stronger than you think you are. Never think that you are a failure or small.

I know you can overcome. I know you are strong. I know you are capable of becoming a stronger person than you are now. Robin, you be one of the most jovial person I've ever met. Don't let this setback take away your smile. I may not know what you're thinking now. But just remember Robin, you are a champion, an overcomer, someone who can bring a smile on someone's else's face. Just remember. You can make a difference.



I'm feeling better now... though i know the pain will come back again.