Neither do i know what's going on.
My mind was twirling and i can never seem to think straight.

Dear Eliz,
I don't know what else to do. The moment you told me on msn that we are just friends and you doubt we'll go far, it totally defeated me. I felt a pain in my heart and i wsh i would die at that instant. It broke my heart. After all that i have done, i am just a friend? Sometimes or most of the times, i get disappointed. Poeple say i will struggle being with you. I denied them a number of time. But i believe that they we wrong.. Are they right?
Eliz, i told yesterday that no matter how much you disappoint me, i will stil love you the way you are.
I still do.
Yes, today, it got out of hand. I felt things were unfair, but i tried. Yet, i couldn't tolerate your replies that means nothing at all...
Losing you as a friend is definitely something tragic. After all we've been through, i don't want it to go to waste.
It's all my fault... I don't want you to put the blame on yourself Eliz, pls.
I'm thinking of suicide now. And i mean it.