sinking deeper

Sinking deeper...
Just when i thought, i miraculously changed her mood to joy, i thought it was mission accomplished.
Until, one conversation. That relationship. Damn that I came to that part. And only then did i realised that she really meant what she said. "At times, i feel like you're more of a brother..." Brother? Why? I look at these options. And it directed me to one. The 5 years gap between us. It's huge. Yes it is. And she has alot of doubts when we are reminded of the question Bee Leng ask us. "Out of the 5, no matter how good they are, will you still pick him/her?". For her she's young. She have a difficult time to solve that.
For me, it's not tricky answer. My mind was set immediately after stumbling upon that question. Yes, i'll still pick you Eliz. But before that, i know that there will be situations that will make me lose focus on this. The age, the way she'll see this relationship, and how it ends. But i decided not to let all these DOUBTS stand in my way. I have to achieve something. To be the one guy that will always be there for you
FOCUS plays an important role in this. For whatever you put your mind to it, you'll achieve it. I believe in that statement.
Therefore, it makes it difficult for both of us to come to a decision. Brother? I can never ACCEPT that after going through alot.
I don't know... I'm expecting myself to let go soon... But i'm still very reluctant about it. Cos i don't know how to express my feelings anymore. I know that it's no longer 'like', but rather, the direction is heading to 'love'. The tougher the situation is, it strengthens us.